DON'T ASK DON'T TELL

DON’T ASK DON’T TELL: CULTURE OF SILENCE AND AVOIDANCE IN AFRICAN COMMUNITY
A month has passed since I started this blog and posted the first message, in form of my objectives and the invitational poetic message. I introduced the blog only on my profile in the facebook. Record show that thirteen people viewed my blog profile, which they got to by first reading the objective and the poem. Surprisingly, no one left a comment online about their views and feelings regarding the objective of the blog. Too bad! (Please readers, leave your footprints.) Despite people’s angelic passage, interestingly, two Africans at different locations, had dialogue with me though behind the mask about the objective of the blog. We discussed deep issues affecting us in common: The fact that there was no one to talk to with hope of been heard and understood featured in our dialogues. Are Africans guilty of “culture of silence”? What of the African gay community? Are they getting swallowed in conspiracy of silence too? What is scary about discussing human sexuality openly, especially when the impact of societal reaction is adversely affecting a particular set of people for no just reason?
I know taboo is part of Africans traditions and cultures, but I have not known one taboo prohibiting this type of discussion because wild sexual jokes and actions are rampant in the same African society. Yet serious sexual conversation is so rare, like it is ruled by taboo. How do we break this strong tie to taboo? The fact is that the issue is HOMOSEXUALITY; many believe it is unAfrican, inhuman, unbiblical and unimaginable. Hence it is a taboo to African discussion arena. Instead the Gambia President threatened “beheading” as a substitute of conversation and many other African countries wrote laws and built jails instead of open conversations, critical thinking, scientific investigation and understanding of the plight of the silenced gay community and their suffering family. Hence, I say don’t ask don’t tell rule discussion on homosexuality in Africa. That is where the taboo is found.
The poem posted below bellows what I think taboo and culture of silence does for African leaders and even the black community as a whole:
DON’T ASK DON’T TELL
Taboo is part of life
Where I came from
Tool of the dominants.
Keeps subjects in check.
Robes life with fear
To stay family statuesque.
Sets the forest scary to visit
Even for elephant hunters.
Frightens the knights of the night
It paralyzes even the strongest.
Like huge ocean
Taboos keep people at bay
Health
Wealth
Sex
Quest for knowledge
And many more
Corban to taboo
Who dare breach taboo?
Who will swim the length of the sea?
“Of don’t ask don’t tell.”?
But the brave will tell
The scared should scream!
©Demola Adewoye 07/19/2008